I had spent years dreaming about visiting Petra. I was so excited about going that I started to worry it would be a disappointment. Something I’d built up so much in my mind that it would have a hard time living up to my expectations. I needn’t have worried. This was the absolute best vacation of my life. We all had a spectacular time. This was the first real ‘vacation’ of this trip; I did not work at all for the 2 weeks we spent there.
We traveled from the north of the country to the south visiting not only Petra but also many other ruins, castles, desert settlements, resorts, etc.
We stayed everywhere from a tent in the desert to a 5-star resort on the Red Sea. We have been on the border of Israel, Egypt, Syria and Saudi Arabia at different parts of this trip. We fit a lot into 2 weeks. I’ll write a post on each area of Jordan that we visited (everywhere was fantastic!) but I really think this leg of our trip deserves a bit of a prologue. I’d like to share how Jordan made me feel, as well as share photos and document all the fascinating places we got to see. Jordan is such a wonderful country but so different than anywhere we’d ever been. It’s not an easy vacation, it’s gritty, but so very interesting and rewarding. The people in Jordan were so welcoming and warm. They were very interested in us – especially the kids. The historical sites are so amazing – even after exploring Croatia and Greece – we were quickly overwhelmed by the scale, condition, and beauty of the Greco-Roman ruins, Crusader castles, Nabatean ruins, etc. So much to see, we would have needed far longer than the two weeks that we had.
While the trip was the best we’ve ever taken, there were a couple of areas where I struggled a bit and really made me challenge my ideas on culture and religion.
- Where were the women? As we walked past storefronts, shopkeepers would always call out ‘welcome, welcome’. And we truly felt welcome. Sure everyone wants to make a sale but we didn’t feel that usual pressure, the ‘welcome’ was truly genuine. Each time we entered their store or engaged in conversation, everyone was very curious about us – where we were from, whether we liked Jordan, what were the kids names, etc. They also made sure to tell us that we were always welcome in their country. Then, one day, I realized I really have no idea if the people of Jordan are welcoming. I only know that the men are welcoming. It was rare to see many women and even rarer to have an opportunity to interact with them. Now that I look back at my photos, the lack of women is striking. So strange that I didn’t notice very much until all of a sudden I couldn’t stop noticing (this strangely parallels my professional life as a female engineer – more on that later).
Before we went, I thought of Jordan as a progressive Islamic nation, which I suppose it is, but it wasn’t until we traveled around there for a while that I realized that being progressive relative to its neighboring countries is not progressive relative to what I’m used to. Nowhere was it more striking than in the resort we stayed at Aqaba on the Red Sea. I like to think I respect all religions and cultures but I really struggled watching men enjoying the resort pools (in their swim shorts) while their wives were wearing hijab sitting at the side of the pool watching after the children. I have read about prisons in Jordan where women are turned in by their family members (usually fathers and brothers) for what they deem inappropriate behavior. I’m fully aware that I do not understand the perspective of the Jordanian women and am seeing their circumstances through my Canadian liberal lense. Nevertheless, knowing about and seeing these inequalities made me sad and, rightly or wrongly, made me feel very conflicted about my feelings on the country.
- Why am I scared? Unconscious bias is an important area of study, education, and awareness right now in my field (consulting engineering). I work in a very male-dominated world and am only now starting to realize the significance of unconscious bias in how we relate to those around us. We have taken courses in the last year at work to help us identify and understand unconscious bias in ourselves and those around us. Jordan was a real world example for me on how deep-rooted these biases are. I found that I had an immediate fearful reaction to traditionally dressed Muslim men. If a man was walking towards me, I instinctively reacted as if I was in danger. I would feel scared until I consciously took a pause, considered my reaction, and changed my response. This is the power of media – years of news coverage, movies, etc. that portray Muslim men as ‘bad’ people. In reality, there were so many nice men we had the chance to meet. So incredibly welcoming and they really wanted to make sure that we enjoyed our time in Jordan and that we had the chance to really learn about their history and culture. We did not have a bad experience with anyone we had the opportunity to interact with. I had to self-correct and am really glad I had the chance to see that in myself and take that home with me to help keep me more vigilant on identifying biases in my initial responses to people.
I experienced something else really interesting while we were in Jordan. The sites we were seeing were so beautiful, and I’d looked forward to seeing them for so long that i had an almost emotional response to standing and physically getting to see these amazing sites. It was almost like being on a high – I can’t think of another way to describe it. The interesting part was that this emotional response was a bit like a knife edge – I’d be as happy as you could imagine and then something would happen to interrupt that feeling – most often the kids would be complaining – and I would be immediately in a very dark place. I clearly remember being very overwhelmed at the beauty of Petra and then immediately in tears of (what felt like) despair that the kids were impatient and didn’t appreciate the experience. I suppose it’s a bit like a baby – their strong emotions are so connected. One second crying, the next laughing.
One thing I know is that I will never forget that journey through Jordan. It was an amazing personal and family experience. Exactly the type of experience we were looking for on this yearlong journey.